Thursday, April 30, 2009

Exams are comin and stress begins to appear ... I cannot lose to to HER ! :D
Ok well today was like the worst day for me .
(ITS ALL MY FAULT)
Then we started the day . The classes was pretty much on revisions and nothing else ...
(ITS ALL MY FAULT)
Then it was recess time where everything went bad for me ...
(ITS ALL MY FAULT)
I was playing soccer with the usual people then suddenly it happened !
I was about to kick pansap and suddenly he fell down and i come down too ... I sat on his hand !
I saw him SCREAMING , YELLING and his IN PAIN .
Down there was my one of my best friend and i was the one who made him into this state .
I was hiding my fear and tried my very best to help him .
(ITS ALL MY FAULT)
Knowing that i might lose him as a friend ... i could not care less . He was in pain and i had to do something .
His screams of pain pierced through my heart ...
I brought him to the General office . The teacher said it might be a fracture or a sprain .
Pansap's hands could not move at all ! Then he even said JJ i cannot see like everything blur ... Black and white .
I was shocked but i hold myself together and told him to close his eyes and breath .
.... He looked pale .
Moments later he was feeling much better but his hand still could not move .
(ITS ALL MY FAULT)
... Guilt slowly creeped in
Then Mr wong and Mr soh brought him to the hospital ...
ALl i could do was to HOPE ....
I felt useless and i could not do anything to help .
I went back to class and lied down . I was holding my tears ... I did not want to cry in front of Xin yi so i hold myself .
I myself was in pain but it could not compare to the pain pansap was going through ...
(ITS ALL MY FAULT)
Then i had no mood to study for todays history test , i was on the verge of losing it ...
I'm prepared to fail but i tried some questions ...
I was still hoping pansap was ok . Then i had no mood to sent xin yi down for her lesson and she knew i was sad so she said she will go down herself ...Thank you .
(ITS ALL MY FAULT)
Then i was the second to reach the D&T block and then i all started . I CRIED ...
It was my fault and guilt took the better of me ... I just put my head down and cried .
I cried for pansap and HOPE it was ok .
Haiz its all my fault and i can never forgive myself for breaking pansap's left hand ...
I dont want to see my friends in pain again ...
I dont want to see the same thing happen again ...

I will NEVER play soccer again .
I'M SORRY PANSAP D':