Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Back posting ...
Ok today was really disappointing and seriously exhausted today .
I reached my limit ... Demonic training .
AHHH !!! i just need somewhere to scream ! Im very tired already ...
ARGH i just hate myself for being me -.-
I basically failed in everything i do today ... Nothing went right for me .
Im seriously a loser ! ARGH!
And i even thought i could be a good major .
Should i move on ?!

Morning ...
Fall in 8.45 .
I was given time to talk to the band ...
I was ok but i failed as it had no effect on the band members at all . I failed ...
Went for sectionals and thought everything i knew ... I should have done macework .
Then the whole band combine and we sounded , okay -.-
But when we went down for some formation . Same thing !members walking and taking their time . I was just wasting my time in the morning ...
Everything i do also dont work out so what for am i pushing myself so much ?!
Am i that stupid .
Then the morning was horrible during the formation and music . We cant even clear the first part ...

Afternoon ...
Went to eat lunch . Basically we practiced for a while more ourselves while mr jack lim went to buy drinks and miss guok ordered pizza for us >.<
Haha i was like ,okay ...
Then we ate and silence filled the canteen . It was like old times ...
But noise were mostly made by me ...
Then when we ate finish . I got a short meeting and problems start to come in way again .
Ldrs talking back and not listening . Disappointed and i have failed again ...
Today did not really went my way ... i was damn depress !
ARGH two days alr still drop mace -.- ... I really have no courage to go up and prove .
I just cant ...
I dont know ...
Im lost ...
Really you know ! I dont know why i was chosen and hamirul was the better player ... WHY ME ?!
Demonic training but Mr lim and i was really pushed ...
Pushed till i almost went on my knees and just release everything .
I cant and couldnt ...
I was damn depress and started punching the wall ...
Was i the right choice ?
...
Nothing to say already . I have reached my limit and i will move on by improving myself !
I will not give up ... Passion that burns within .
JYJY ...