Saturday, December 05, 2009

Fri (rest day)
Haha im back . Im feeling the stress right now ...
So little time and so much things to do . we have to do something for the seniors ...
I think that they really went all in for us and i thought we should too .
I planned out everything already but i just need the cooperation of the committee members .
Yesterday was the day i saw the com mem true colours . Some of them really ... More and more problem starts to surface and im afraid im reaching my limit soon .
I really want to do my best and give it all ...
But im getting tired and the ROD , we need to show something .
To show we can do it and we are ready for next year .
Im just afraid something would go wrong ...
I needed the committee to play pachelbel cannon but we rushed through almost everything ...
We need this song but we cant play . Problems started to surface ... Right now im flooded with almost everything . I cant breathe ... I need help from my partners .
We seemed so bonded right from the start ... But inside we were never not . We need to improve and fast .
In the end , we completed the song with some modifications .
Instead of being confident and going for the show . We are just using luck and hoping things would pull through and we as a committee have failed .
I dont know how but we need to change and fast or not we will be to late .
... Am i holding back ?
... Am i not strict enough ?
... I need answers and fast .
I sat down and thought am i wrong to do all this work in so little time ? Am i wrong ...
I just hoped ...

Saturday(ROD)
The day started in a way we had to do alot of things ... As time go pass . My heart started beating faster and faster .
A day that complete went totally off for me .
This Rod was the worst ever ... its all my fault .
Before everything started . We committee members sat together and practiced our 2 songs for our performance today .
Pirates and p. canon . They all sounded ok . Then i started to calm down ...
When Mr lim came in . We had to change alot of things to our song and we were rushing ...
Last minute work is really really lousy ok ! But we had to continue the show .
It was such a disappointing day ...
We just showed our seniors that we cant make it ...
Basically we failed in everything performance and it was a crash and burn ...
The com mem show was the worse . Everything went wrong and the p. canon was a disaster . We have failed together as ldrs .
We just showed one thing . Some may feel that its ok but to me ... Its was really a disgraceful sight .
I hid my feeling with smiles but inside i was breaking down ...
An experiment that wrong ... I have failed as a drum major .


Im choking . I really need help from people who work together with me . Seriously like wad miss neo said .
Is not a one man show . I cant do this alone .
Today was a perfect example ... The keys . I had to do some of our jobs ...
I know you guys are doing alot things but i also need you all to help me and support me all the way .
I need you all and we can come together ... I cant do this alone you see ?!
Together we stand strong but alone . Im fragile ...